I’m Talking

What do you know!? It’s the top ten list again!

What’s it this time?

"Moments In History Where/When Genius Was Made!"

10. One word - Flush.

9. You press a button, and then Maggi cooks in just 5 minutes. No stirring, No waiting in front of the stove throughout.

8. The first person to ever kick a ball with his foot and decided to make it into a real professional game.

7. The first person to actually think that prostitution could actually become a legit business.

6. Money. Who’s idea was it anyway? Shouldn’t he get some sorta royalty?

5. The first person to actually make a real rotating fan. Not the type where you fan with your hands.

4. You kill the animal, you eat it, and wear it’s hyde.

3. You chop the tree down, you tie them together, you get a pondok.

2. Rubber band. Wooo… Genius.

and….

NUMBER 1!!!!!

*drum rolls… and the timpani of course….

1. You go under the cow, you squeeze it’s tits, and you drink that white stuff.

*insert jazzy big-band ending to enhance the effect.

There are people in this world that are in need of help.

Some need it emotinoally;
Some need it physically;
Some need it financially;

Whatever their need is, it is important to address the needs of those that are not fortunate enough to own the things that you have. It is selfish to think not about others when you’re enjoying your cup of RM4.90 Coffee Bean expresso when you could have gotten the same coffee for RM1.10 at the nearest coffee shop. It is selfish to not think about others when you are enjoying your ride to the mall in a cab that costs RM12 when you could have taken the bus for just RM1.

You are spending more on things that could have been cheaper!

What do you do with the extra then? Just keep it so that you can spend it on something just as worthless?

I say why not spend it on some good charity? Isn’t that a better way of using your money?

Isn’t it better to take the extra dollar that you had, pledge it in a fundraising charity fund that you can think of, and know that you have at least made a change in one person’s life.

I say that is just a swell idea.

Anonymous Charitable Person: But Adrian, I don’t know where to go… where to start?
Adrian: Really? Aww… That’s a shame. Look no further my poor Anonymous Charitable Person. I have just the perfect charity fund for you to start off with.

"Adrian’s Racquet Fund"

With every ringgit you pledge to the Adrian’s Racquet Fund, you can ensure that it will be the most fulfilling expenditure you’ve ever made in your life. Forget about scams and tricks where they have some nasty tricks up their sleeves, this one tells you EXACTLY what is going to be done in just 5 easy steps:

Step 1 - You give money.

Step 2 - Adrian’s Racquet Fund gets the money.

Step 3 - Adrian’s Racquet Fund gets more money from other people like you.

Step 4 - Adrian uses the money to buy his beloved tennis racquet.

Step 5 - You will be forever loved.

Remember.

The more you give, the better Adrian’s Racquet Fund can function and achieve its objectives. No games, no tricks, no scams….

… just genuine help to the ones that cannot enjoy and live with the basic necessities of life.

*please note that every ounce of believability is up to the reader’s descretion. Any harm, danger, anger, forehead slapping actions will not be compensated by the writer.

Funny Little Guy: Hey, I wonder, what’s it like to face death?

Rational Dude: You mean the big end? Armageddon? Judgment Day? The ending of your chapter of the story?

Funny Little Guy: No, not really that. More of like what would someone do when you know you’re about to die. Have you ever heard people saying that they’ve only got 2 months or so to live… and then they go about doing things casually?

Rational Dude: … I can’t say I do, but I know that the person who’s facing such a certain end would most probably be rethinking and rekindling on his best/worst moments in life.

Funny Little Guy: *pauses for a while thinking. Why would someone who’s about to die think about his past?

Rational Guy: Sometimes people tend to think back about how much they’ve enjoyed themselves before facing death. Some might just be trying to think back on unfinished business. They might have some things that they do not want to just leave there and then when they do pass away.

Funny Little Guy: *pauses and scratches his head. Why does that matter? When a person is definitely going to die, why does he hold any bounds to the sentient lives? It’s not like he’s going to carry it out in his death? Putting aside fear that he would be judged if there’s an afterlife, why would a person be afraid or happy about what is going on in his present time?

Rational Dude: Simply put, when a person dies, it does not entirely affect that dying individual only. Almost all the time, other parties will be affected and influenced by the passing of another individual. In most cases, the people affected are the ones most cared by the about-to-be-deceased. If left unattended, the closest to the deceased might/might not get into trouble.

Funny Little Dude: Really? You mean that when a person dies, all his burden, all his mistakes, all his problems, all his mischiefs, his consequences of action, his name and reputation stays and haunts those closest to him?

Rational Dude: If you put it that way, it doesn’t have to be absolutely like that, but it happens to a lot of people.

Funny Little Dude: You mean when Jack The Ripper died, all his crimes and reputation will then be forever smeared on his son/daughter’s life? Or the victims will then seek for compensation from the son/daughter of Jack? Even when the person is not aware of such a situation being committed by the deceased?

Rational Dude: To a certain extent, yes. The extent of it not being so is that not all consequences of crime be shifted to the next of kin. Even past,current, and future  laws do not/should not condone to such harsh shift in blame and punishment.

Funny Little Dude: Then that very principle totally contradicts to the fact that it will affect the people closest to the deceased.

Rational Dude: *pauses. Hmmm…

Funny Little Dude: Even if the person would make reparations or do anything to change the current scenario, it wouldn’t matter to that person dying aye? So, most probably those things are being done to help his closest relationships aye?

Rational Dude: Yeah, that’s logical.

Funny Little Dude: Then it would also be understood that if the situation was not
changed or improved, those closest will be affected. Which is totally contradicting to the first idea.

Rational Dude: …

Funny Little Dude: To further make that even worse, no situation will change the fact that when the person does die, it isn’t going to change the fact that those closest will get hurt, will be deeply scarred, and mourn over the death. Can any situation or action change that fact?

Rational Dude: …

Funny Little Dude: Then what happens to that person who is about to die? What does he think?

Rational Dude: He…

Funny Little Guy: What would you do? What would you think?

Rational Dude: Let’s ask God… I’ll call him.

*Dials the phone 1-800-I-M-GOD, ring-tone heard: "God is a Girl"

God: Hello?

Rational Dude: Hi, God? You okay?

God: Just trying to get some things done, you know… miracles and stuff… why?

Rational Dude: You should know this one, what does a man do or think when he’s about to die?

God: Huh? What in the blazes of all that is holy and powerful would you ask such a question?

Rational Dude: Just talking to Funny Little Guy.

God: I’m busy. Ask Death.

*Call stopped.

Rational Dude: *Dialing. That’s a bummer. Why can’t he just tell us? That busy? tsk tsk tsk.

*Dialed 1-800-R-I-P. Ring-tone: "One Last Breath"

Death: Hello… *in heavy breaths and low bass tone.

Rational Dude: Eh? Just got up? Such a raspy voice..

Death: Yeah man, what’s up?

Rational Dude: We called God, he told us to call you instead… me and Funny Little Guy were just wondering, what does a dying man think or do?

Death: You woke me up for this shit? You want to know the truth?

Rational Dude: Alright! Finally!

Death: I don’t know. *click

Rational Dude: …

Funny Little Guy: So? What did Death say?

Rational Dude: I think I got it…

Funny Little Guy: Really? What is it?

Rational Dude: Nothing.